[please redial your call (except you don't mind it or give anybody the creeps worrying about hiding that you mind it so nobody's feelings will be hurt)]

Saturday 12 December 2009

Noch in der zweiten heiligen Woche



* * * * * * * PERSPEKTIVE I * * * * * * *





* * * * * * * PERSPEKTIVE II * * * * * * *

Sperrin Mountains

Departure at 12,30 (uhm, it's later than the last time, we're turning lazier and lazier..).

I haven't changed my sweater but none seems to realize it.

We're three, a friend of her has come to visit us. However, today she's leaving, and we're going to slowly sip other fascinating places of this land while inexorably approaching Belfast International Airport.

I'm going to drive. Headed towards the Sperrin Mountains, it's not long after that a CD of oneiric Russian music has finished playing that we drop out of the car.
It's all damp.




We hear a river, but we can't locate it.
We knew that a church should be somewhere around here, but it's out of our sight as well.

Scared firs are drawing back from the lying corpses of the cut ones, trying to avoid the infection..




Perhaps the church is under construction, we don't know, but for sure, if that's the case, it's going to be a Cathedral!

While I study how to take a photo of the blue sky reflected on the surface of a puddle, the girls set off on the climbing road in front of us




and so I decide to postpone the photo until the way back.

After we've been walking for about 15 minutes, a clearance on the right suggests us that perhaps it was a natural church. We can breath the holyness of the place. I put away the camera and we pray.

We pick up walking again. After a while, the wall of firs on the left is unexpectedly broken by a green road.




I feel like being in the middle of a motorway, with the only difference that all the cars've been cast away, like Adam and Eve from the paradise. Then she calls my name. I turn my head but I can't see her 'cause then the horn of a car blows up screaming loudly into my ears. I instinctively lift my shoulders up around my head and protract my hands out in a defensive attitude, I guess the car is approaching very fast, I didn't see it at all, and, Oh my God, where the hell's this car come from, here, in the middle of nothing? Shit, it's going to splatter my friends up with me and maybe I start shrieking, or maybe not, I don't know, but the horn's still there and then, then she reaches to my arm, she shakes me, Nicola you ok? I look towards the motorway but all the cars've been cast away, like somebody from somewhere, Nicola, what's up? The motorway is staring at me, I know that but you know what? How on the earth am I going to tell them? You're tired? Oh no, com'on, how can I possibly even think of it? Yes.. I mean, I mean I'm fine, I must've just slept not enough yesterday night, you know, I've seen that movie, probably you were right not seeing it, it must've impressed me so much, probably there was kind of a bird, it must've suddenly flight away out of nothing, out of some branch.. They all look like the same, these branches.. Chirping squeak, the bird, the thing, I mean it must've have chirped very squeak and yes, I shouldn't have driven all that way, you were right, but now, now I'm fine, now.. Can I have a sip of water?


At the base of the firs there are little, apparently sleeping beings. I brace myself and, taking a breath as big as possible, on tiptoe I get silently closer to them, trying not to let them understand my edginess.




I can't find out, but it seems all fine. A breath of relief.
We pick up walking again.

At a certain point the road branches off. Straight ahead we could keep climbing.





But the top, being too far away, disheartens our faint hopes.
We turn left, better to remain on the flat.

Our friend has to pee. We wait further ahead. In the meanwhile I glance at the wood around us. A slight sinister scene shows at my feet. A majestic tree has been unseated from its grasp to the ground and then covered by alive and growing green cobweb.




Other trees, being covered by the same sort of cobweb, but still on their feet, frame a picture of time, backward-like.




Not long afterwards we decide that the curch won't show up any more, definitely, even though, actually, it was already out of our thoughts since long. Now it's my turn to pee. I tell my company to go ahead, I am going to reach them soon.

While I pee it starts raining. I pull up the hood. I enter a different place.
The sound of the drops on the hood is the anchor that keeps me clung to the world..

A shiver runs down my spine. I set off too. Better to reach soon the company.

On the right I notice fallen trunks..




I have the impression as if earlier they were not there.. Hm, the girls must be behind the bump of the road. I quicken my step.

After I've reached the top, I acknowledge the fact they're not there. It didn't take me so long to pee, but.. But yeah, probably I got lost into my thoughts longer than I thought, all this story is making me crazy, ok, but I notice something, what's that? Yes.. No, it's not a spider, it's just a thin shadow that is slowing climbing up along my legs, yes, but what is moving then? And then I hear the hiss and I make a step to the right but it's the wrong direction 'cause just behind me a thud like a lightning makes me jump!




A big tree fallen just so close to me!! Now I'm sure, something is chasing me! The idea of them going around just behind my hood as I was peeing there makes me shiver even more. I start running!



I run, I run,

but my friends

don't show up!


I run, I run,

and the rain comes back,

to slow my pace,

to make me wept.


Still no trace of my company,

but I'm sure,

something is chasing me
!

I can't see it,

it must be hiding in the wood,

it must be following me

from behind the trees!


Have they already catched my friends? The only chance that I have is to run away from here and hope that they are at the bottom of the path, maybe they have already called for help, if they won't be there, I'll call the police, my mobile has to be with me, I try to find it by touch, I can't but it does not shock me at most,
what does shock me
is what I see:



the motorway's been completely dried up! What's this? That's not possible at all! Maybe.. Have we ended up in a top secret military zone? Will a start coughing? Are they using some special gas? Testing any virus?? The allucination that I've got earlier! Oh my God, the allucination is the proof of it.. Will I be able to keep running? No, I won't: the ground is slippery like the bottom of the see



and I fall indeed.


And all I can see


it's an iced cobweb




Iced cobweb waiting for me.


Welcoming me.


Receiving me.


Keeping me


My body



It keeps my body and it keeps my soul as well:


I become small like an ant


and start going around,


behind this branch,


on top of that leave,


astonished,


amused,


until I see


until I see something which terrifies me:


the little beings,

the apparently sleeping beings,

have multiplied,

moved to one side,

and now,

like hot lava

they are swarming towards me!



What the Hell is this? Are they poisoning spiders? Poisoning spiders about to their birth?

The mountain must be doomed, all this place must be doomed, yes, it is definitely doomed, and the spiders are the fruit of it. They must've been created together with some toxic fumes.. I must've been inhaling them.. And now they're getting me!!!

Then I automatically try to flee, but my body is trapped, the cobweb is preventing my escape, the cobweb is keeping me!

But when I, desperate, close my eyes, and wait just for my death, then something soft grabs gently my hand, and lifts me up: it's them!

They were not evil! A solid joy floods inside my hearth.. And we're flying, I can't believe! They nod upwards: I look up and tracks are there, majestic like trees




We're travelling on them, and then they point aside, towards a small distant white dot: I can recognize, after a while, that it's a plane, and then I can't believe, it's like with a periscope, our friend I can see! But then.. Where is SHE? I turn around and they're gone, but I'm lying on my bed, and she's staring at me.

Where are we?

Dear, you've been sleeping for ten hours and now you've just woken up. You were struggling and talking a lot as well, but now, my dear, don't worry, now it's going to be fine: the medecine is working out, tomorrow you'll be back on your tracks,

tomorrow it'll be a nice day,

sunny,

without bad dreams!

Thursday 3 December 2009

Il bagno di sera

Sono in posizione distesa nella vasca. La luce è stata spenta. In compenso due lumicini, un gesto di privata umanità.. Le mie gambe emergono sinuose dall'acqua come il corpo di quei dinosauri con il collo allungato.. Il riscaldamento spento rende l'evaporazione dell'acqua ancora più intensa, la scena ancora più suggestiva. Di fronte, il tubo dell'ossigeno non si avvicina più a me, bensì è stato riappeso, in alto, in posizione di riposo: ormai non c'è più speranza. Mi hanno lasciato a morire solo, così.. L'unica cosa che mi viene in mente è di masturbarmi.. Mi immagino differente, con la pelle morbidamente lucida, attraente.. Le forme rotonde.. In mezzo a persone molto diverse da me... Spogliandomi provo un senso di vergogna misto ad eccitazione, l'eccitazione dei loro sguardi.. Il contatto dei corpi.. Il contatto dei corpi aumenta la vergogna, ma la scintilla del piacere viene presto in soccorso.. Il piacere aumenta fino a quando non provo più nessuna inibizione... Aumenta.. E aumenta.. E aumenta... E poi, dopo, non mi lascia subito, no, non mi lascia subito, piuttosto evapora, sì, il piacere, semplicemente, evapora, piano piano, come le bollicine di una bibita gassata che, dopo essere stata agitata e aperta e, per questo, subitaneamente fuoriuscita con gran fervore dal tappo, lentamente emergono dal fondo della bottiglia per esplodere dolcemente sulla superficie del mondo, il loro mondo, il non loro mondo..