it is so, as if up to a certain point everything had always worked out nicely, even perfectly I would say, but then, at some point, abruptly, as if somebody or something - simply said, an external cause - would have always been there to prevent me from getting or doing it... When it has all started, I don't know... More or less I do know, but not precisely, nor precisely I know which specific event sparkled it all... Maybe, if I would know, I could do something to bring things back... Or maybe it has not been abrupt, but rather something happened - that thing - and then its consequences took place just slowly, until the last chance to logical fight the repercussions of it vanished... As it had all been already written down somewhere, sometime...
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